Dating over 40 in today’s world

The norms have changed over the years
Dating online over 40 can be a challenge, but you can find the perfect match.
Dating online over 40 can be a challenge, but you can find the perfect match.
Updated: Feb. 28, 2019 at 8:09 AM EST
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CHARLOTTE, NC (WBTV) - There are more 40-year-olds dating today than ever before. And if you are over 40 and new to the dating scene you may be in for a shock.

Social norms have changed a lot since your teens and early 20s. Perhaps most notably there’s been an explosion of internet dating sites specifically targeting those over 40. I went to one of the top matchmaking experts in the south to find out more about looking for love over 40!

Tanya Wells, who’s dating again, laughed and said, “It’s a jungle out there!” when I spoke with her. She says if you haven’t dated in a while, and you’re in your 40s or older, beware! Vicky Humphries, another 40-plus in the dating world, says, “It’s more difficult. Because a lot of people my age are married. So, unless they have single friends around, most of the time I go, they got these couples and I’m usually the fifth wheel kind of deal. So it’s kind of hard to date in your 40s.”

Vicky and Tanya are back in the dating mix as is Adam Long, and I met up with them at Carolinas Matchmaker in Charlotte, talking with owner Laurie Berzack about dating again in their 40s.

Tanya says a lot has changed since she dated back in her teens, "It's very different. A lot of dating has moved to the online format, and so there's all sorts of dating apps. And I think in a lot of ways, that's almost the primary way that people meet each other is through online dating."

According to Online Dating Magazine, there are now more than 2,500 online dating sites. That’s quite unlike years ago when there were only a handful. According to Berzack, “It was definitely a stigma back in the day and it was usually the 20s that were jumping online.”

But today, everyone is online no matter their age. And the pool of potential dates is practically unlimited. Still, finding a good match online is not always easy. Adam says, “A lot of it is, the people who are on there are more interested in the...the first thing they see is a picture, that’s their first impression. And a lot of times I think they don’t take the time to read the profile or see if this person might have some commonalities that, some things that we might share in common, because, physical attraction is important, but it’s only a small portion of what makes a relationship successful.”

Berzack’s advice for first time on line daters over 40: post real photographs. Recent real photographs. And be totally, totally honest. She says, “We don’t have to be anything that we’re not. There is a lid for every pot. It’s just that you need to represent yourself appropriately and authentically. And that’s all that matters.”

Vicky adds, “My advice is, don’t give up. There’s somebody out there for you.” Berzack agrees and says when it comes to love, age is not a factor. “So don’t think that just because you’re over 40 or 50 or 70 that you won’t find love again,” she says, “There is, that feeling, that gut feeling of attraction, excitement and butterflies and rainbows and stars and over-the-moon falling in love, can absolutely happen at any age and I’ve seen it happen. So do not give up on it. Do not settle.”

Now, a warning about online dating. Be careful out there. According to Online Dating Magazine, dating fraud is up 150 percent in the last couple of years. An alternative to online dating that is growing in popularity: singles mixers such as those regularly put on by Carolinas Matchmaker. Their next mixer is coming up on Thursday, March 14. You can find more details by going to:

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