Line King likes home teams, contrarian picks this week - | WBTV Charlotte

Line King likes home teams, contrarian picks this week

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  • LSU football enjoys team outing at original T.J. Ribs restaurant

    LSU football enjoys team outing at original T.J. Ribs restaurant

    Tuesday, August 11 2015 9:37 PM EDT2015-08-12 01:37:12 GMT
    Tuesday, August 11 2015 10:06 PM EDT2015-08-12 02:06:19 GMT
    The LSU football team took a break from the sweaty grind of fall camp Tuesday night to enjoy some team bonding and great food.More >>
    The LSU football team took a break from the sweaty grind of fall camp Tuesday night to enjoy some team bonding and great food.More >>
  • LSU football wants return to 2011 defense

    LSU football wants return to 2011 defense

    Thursday, August 6 2015 3:15 PM EDT2015-08-06 19:15:51 GMT
    Thursday, August 6 2015 3:36 PM EDT2015-08-06 19:36:51 GMT
    LSU may have ranked No. 1 in the SEC defensively last season, but many fans and analysts agree that wasn’t an accurate reflection of how the team actually played. More >>
    LSU may have ranked No. 1 in the SEC defensively last season, but many fans and analysts agree that wasn’t an accurate reflection of how the team actually played. More >>
  • LSU football reports for fall camp, Miles says Bain was never reinstated

    LSU football reports for fall camp, Miles says Bain was never reinstated

    Wednesday, August 5 2015 12:06 PM EDT2015-08-05 16:06:42 GMT
    Wednesday, August 5 2015 4:52 PM EDT2015-08-05 20:52:04 GMT
    On a steamy and sweltering morning in south Louisiana, the LSU football team officially reported for the start of fall camp. The Tigers checking into the West Campus Apartments Wednesday morning, with their first practice set for Thursday. More >>
    On a steamy and sweltering morning in south Louisiana, the LSU football team officially reported for the start of fall camp. The Tigers checking into the West Campus Apartments Wednesday morning, with their first practice set for Thursday. More >>

The following column is satire and intended for entertainment purposes.

(RNN) - Week 5, and what a week it was for Alabama. Is Nick $aban leaving or staying? Has Texas contacted him or not? Why would he go? Why would he stay?

What does he eat for breakfast? Two Little Debbie snack cakes, every single day? How weird is he, anyway? Why does anyone care?

This whole $aban-to-Texas thing and $aban himself have been analyzed more than a Stanley Kubrick film, and The Line King is, quite frankly, tired of it.

Focus, people!

The Line King views college football teams with the sort of dispassion that commodities brokers regard pork bellies and orange juice futures. The Line King is focused, and just look at his ROI:

Week Four: 6-3-1

Season: 23-17-1

Games of Sept. 28

South Carolina @ UCF +7.5: UCF Check List…stomp Akron, check; stomp FIU, check; stomp Penn State, check…wait, what? Pundits say never go against The Visor so The Line King will.

South Alabama @ Tennessee -19: Really, just 19 points against a program that is about three weeks old? How far have the Vols fallen? With a win, this gives Tennessee the inside edge for their first Sun Belt Conference title and a spot in the R+L Carriers Bowl.

LSU @ Georgia -3: In the ultimate contrarian play, take the Hedges over the Bayou. It's the antithesis of the classic "sandwich" game. The Dawgs laid an egg last week and have a cream-puff schedule from here on out; and please, all of you Tennessee fans don't say a thing.

Mississippi @ Alabama -16.5: Again, classic contrarian play. Everyone loves Hugh Freezer, and the Black Bear is all giddy about returning to the Cotton Bowl. No one, and I mean no one, outside of the 205, 334 and 251 area codes likes Bammer, so take the Tide.

Florida @ Kentucky +14.5: At some point Kentucky has to cover against an $EC team, right?

FAU @ Rice -13.5: Rice gets a second chance after the greatest onside kick ever.

Texas A&M @ Arkansas +3: Arkansas' loss to Rutgers last week fully debunked the theory that $EC teams are manned by superior human beings. Mike $live sent out his official warning letter to the Hogs.

Arkansas St. @ Missouri -21.5: Missouri proved last week it can pretend to be an $EC team when the $live-heat is on to perform.

UAB @ Vanderbilt -19.5: Although UA's B team is still in the running for the FCS playoffs, The Line King will sit with the Vandy fan this weekend. Goodness knows, he needs some moral support having gone 1-3 against the number so far this season.

Wyoming @ Texas State +10.5: Ironically, Texas State is coached by former Bammer coach Dennis Franchione (remember those two years?), who resigned from Bammer for Texas A&M… hmmmm.

Copyright 2013 Raycom News Network. All rights reserved.

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  • UK Holds Annual Media Day

    UK Holds Annual Media Day

    Sunday, July 30 2017 6:16 PM EDT2017-07-30 22:16:57 GMT
    LEXINGTON, KY (WAVE)   Hope springs eternal as the University of Kentucky football team gears up for another season.  The team held their annual media day on Sunday for all the coaches and players to weigh in on the upcoming season.  "We all do that let's go work on let's go play let's not talk about it and worry about all that and get better," said head coach, Mark Stoops.   The team is also starting camp on Sunday, and the players are excited to get to...More >>
    LEXINGTON, KY (WAVE)   Hope springs eternal as the University of Kentucky football team gears up for another season.  The team held their annual media day on Sunday for all the coaches and players to weigh in on the upcoming season.  "We all do that let's go work on let's go play let's not talk about it and worry about all that and get better," said head coach, Mark Stoops.   The team is also starting camp on Sunday, and the players are excited to get to...More >>
  • Ole Miss hands Florida their first SEC loss

    Ole Miss hands Florida their first SEC loss

    Sunday, January 14 2018 12:05 AM EST2018-01-14 05:05:44 GMT
    Source: Ole Miss SportsSource: Ole Miss Sports

    Bruce Stevens scored 22 points, Deandre Burnett added 20, and the Rebels held off Florida for a 78-72 win on Saturday afternoon.

    More >>

    Bruce Stevens scored 22 points, Deandre Burnett added 20, and the Rebels held off Florida for a 78-72 win on Saturday afternoon.

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  • WELCOME BACK: Marcus Lattimore joins USC football staff

    WELCOME BACK: Marcus Lattimore joins USC football staff

    Friday, January 12 2018 3:56 PM EST2018-01-12 20:56:05 GMT
    Will Muschamp shares a laugh with Marcus Lattimore in Friday's news conference. Lattimore has been named USC's new director of player development. (Source: WIS)Will Muschamp shares a laugh with Marcus Lattimore in Friday's news conference. Lattimore has been named USC's new director of player development. (Source: WIS)

    South Carolina legend Marcus Lattimore will return to his alma mater's football program in an off-the-field role. 

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    South Carolina legend Marcus Lattimore will return to his alma mater's football program in an off-the-field role. 

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